From left, Geppetto, Lola and Frieda, waiting for instructions from their alpha alpha. (Daniela Caride photos)
The Number 1 rule about having a peaceful relationship with dogs is understanding them, specialists say. And to understand dogs, we should understand a dog pack. But when you add a human to the equation, reason may supersede instinct, and things may very well get messy.
Take my dogs as an example. My dog pack is upside down. If they could, Frieda, Geppetto and Lola would be scratching their heads all day, trying to figure me out.
In the beginning, everything was perfect — me following every dog rule possible. I ate first, then Lola, then the other dogs. Lola is the alpha dog. But I’m the alpha alpha. So I also went out the door first, then Lola, then the rest. I led the walks, I got to call all the shots, peace reigned.
But with the passing of years, Geppetto got sick and frail. And I, with no shame or doubt, started violating one by one every dog pack rule I ever established. Life out there in the wild can be very cruel. The weak are left behind, so they don’t slow down the pack. And as they lag behind, they become bait for predators.
So when Geppetto began slowing down and getting tired quickly, Lola and Frieda bumped him to the very end of the pack rank. Don’t get me wrong. They like Geppetto, and play with him, and hang out with him. But they pay no attention to his pleas.
Frieda stole Geppetto’s ball and went on to slap his face with her tail, while he tried to voice his complaints. Bad doggie!
Well, that just didn’t sit well with me. So here’s the first change I made: Geppetto started leading the walks. We all go at his pace. Until today, Frieda and Lola keep looking at me during the walks, probably checking if this isn’t some kind of a joke. How the heck am I following the weakest? They should be all following me, right? Wrong. And I didn’t stop there…
Sometimes we get back from our walk and Geppetto is very tired. No problem. I tuck him in his bed while I make the dogs’ afternoon meal. I feed Geppetto in bed, with a towel over his paws so nothing spills on him. Lola and Frieda get their share as soon as Geppetto is comfortably gulping his chow. I can almost see “WTF” balloons sprouting out of their little heads when they watch me indulge Geppetto in every little thing he needs.
Geppetto gets the bed when there’s only two in the living room. The other dog can wait until I get back with another one. Geppetto goes out the door first, so Lola and Frieda don’t knock him down in their crazed sprinting. And every month I seem to break one more rule I haven’t even noticed existed.
There’s probably no dog pack more dysfunctional than mine in a 500-mile radius. But you know what? I don’t care. This is my pack, and I’m the leader, and I create whatever rules I want. We humans (or should I say women?) tend to protect the weak. And that’s exactly what I’m doing with Geppetto and will continue doing no matter what.
Lola and Frieda might not understand it. Or might not even like it. OK. I accept that. But one day, when their bones start aching, and their legs start failing, it will be their turn to get my full attention. And I will see in their eyes the gratitude I see in Geppetto every single day, when I hold on to his harness when his legs fail him, when I shield him from the other dogs when he’s trying to get his treat, when I help him lie down when it’s too painful for him to do it by himself.
His gratitude is palpable. And that’s when I know my rules are the right ones for us.
Geppetto leading the way. :-)